headaches and heartaches

My heart is heavy this morning. I feel not right.

I called my sister yesterday, to see how Jim is. He's alright. I hope that his surgery goes well.

My sister is estranged from my three brothers. That sucks. It just shows me how unfeeling they are. Grow up!

I've often said that my family is my biggest problem. They act as if they are superior. Guess what? They ain't!

We all had it rough living at home. Dad is a tyrant and Mom is meek.

I used to think that family was important to me. After all we're blood, right? And that blood is thick.

When I lived at home, I'd get so mad and yell.."I hate you!" I was told that my heart was too little to hate, to which I would say "It will be big enough someday."

Guess what happened? I didn't grow up to hate. I grew up to love. Something my family cannot understand. I weep for them.

My family I cannot help. They all have chosen their way. I am not superior to them, nor wish to be.

We used to have holidays together. We'd laugh and have a good meal. Now all we have are headaches and heartaches.

I'm sorry for the theme of this journal. My forward thinking is caught in reverse. I just hope I don't walk into any parking meters.

As I said I love more than hate. I love that my mind is clear. I don't have to look through the "rose colored" glasses anymore.

I'm telling you all this instead of my family. If I did say these things to them it would fall on deaf ears.

My heart is heavy. I'm sad. I'm hurting.

I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Focus on that I will.
Thank you for allowing me to show my vunerable side. I don't normally let anyone in to see that side of me.

Live, love, laugh, learn, listen,

David